Dr.'s Office Update

Wednesday afternoon I had my OB appointment. I am still reflecting on it and don't really know how to feel. All I know for sure is how much I love this baby and want to do the best thing for her. Anyways, I told Dr. Minudri about what has been going on and the first thing he said to me was, "Tell me what you would tell a patient at 32 weeks that called and said she felt like she was going to drop a bowling ball and has been having contractions." I hate reverse psychology. He asked me if they checked me at work and if they monitored me for contractions. When I said no because I didn't let them, he gave me a look of disapproval! He of course wanted to check to see if my cervix was open at all and also do a test called a fetal fibronectin test or FFN. It detects a protein released if delivery is imminent (within 14 days). The test can tell with 99% accuracy if I will go into labor in the next 2 weeks. Before he checked me he said he doesn't trust the test enough to let it be the deciding factor and said if my cervix is dilated that I am done working, at least until I am at a safer place in the pregnancy to deliver....like after 36 weeks. He wasn't pleased with my exam. He said I am 1-2 cm open on the external os and 1 cm internally. He said it's too soft and favorable for his comfort. The reassuring things is that he said she is high and my cervix has some length to it still. He said that many first time moms cervix are still closed at 36-40 weeks and that I am already way past that point. He asked me when I was suppose to work again and I told him tonight after my appointment...I then got look of disapproval #2. He said, no that I wasn't working tonight or the next night. After some bargaining with him, he agreed I could maybe try to go back next week. He also wanted me to be monitored at the hospital for contractions. I told him I only had them when I was up on my feet but he wanted to make sure I wasn't having some that I couldn't feel. So off we went to my 2nd home. When we were there we got the results of the FFN test, which was negative. So that is very reassuring. We also didn't see many contractions, so that was good too and means I wont have to be on medication to stop them. Because I feel like I am fortunate to be able to detect when I am putting myself in a dangerous position by pushing myself too hard, I am still able to work. I think I am just going to be done taking labors and maybe try to do some lighter activity. Of course my coworkers have been amazing in supporting me with this. I hate to put an extra load on them but they have all been there and know that I need to do what is best for baby. I would stop working completely but that would eat up all my maternity leave and I want as much time at home with Delaney as possible. I also want a healthy baby so will not push it if my body says no more. If it was just the physical discomfort I feel like I could power through but with the pressure and contractions my mind is too preoccupied with my own baby and my own uterus to worry about someone else's...which doesn't make me a very good nurse. We talked so much about these things he didn't tell me where I was measuring or if she is still head down. Overall I feel reassured that if I am able to do lighter activity at work for the next couple weeks I should be okay and if not then I guess I stop working.