I can't help but think about the things that could have happened. I feel very fortunate that things weren't any worse and that the baby seems to be just fine through it all, but it's obviously a huge part of this pregnancy and has presented new challenges I have thankfully never had to experience while being pregnant. Some day I think this kiddo may want to know the story of his life in utero, he is a survivor already. It makes my heart hurt to think about what could have happened to him, but knowing he is so strong amazes me. I can't wait to meet this little guy that is handling such a traumatic event like a champ. So this is for you, baby number 3....
Monday, March 23rd, after working my 4th night shift, my little commuter car was hit by a logging truck. Luckily, I had just dropped my coworker and off at her car after making the commute to our home town. I don't remember how it happened but I do know I did not fall asleep. Trust me there have been many other mornings that it wouldn't have surprised me if the accident had happened because I happened to be a little drowsy, but this was not one of them. I was wide awake. I even had just had a 1/2 cup of coffee at about 4am-something I NEVER do at work! I was feeling very tired at work that night and was actually worried about driving home without feeling sleepy, so I took a little walk and drank a little coffee. Afterwards, I felt like a whole new person. My coworker and I talked the whole way home and I never once felt sleepy or drowsy. I am glad I don't remember the accident portion. It's scary enough to see my car and think about what my body went through. The first thing I remember is my friend, Dianna trying to move my head out of some smoke and fumes she was worried about me inhaling. A few moments later, I remember more people trying to help her move me to the passengers seat and then I remember EMT's coming to assess me while in the passengers seat. They put a cervical spine stabilizer on my neck, I walked to the stretcher and away we went to the local hospital. Dianna stayed with me the whole time and called Gary right away after the accident. She told the EMT's, I was pregnant and held my hand the entire time. I am very thankful she was there with me. Although, I feel bad that she was probably a little traumatized by having to be the first on the scene and definitely scared for my and baby's safety. The entire ambulance ride I complained of difficulties breathing and severe back pain. I felt like my lungs were drowning in fluid. They continued to tell me that my lung sounds were clear. Gary met us in the ER, kids in tow with their pj's and all. They were so good there. I remember quite a bit starting at this time and although I was confined to lying completely flat with a collar on my neck and instructed to not move, I knew they were being good because no one was having to tend to them. Poor babies were probably a little scared to see momma like that but they seemed to handle it all really well. They both were able to be lifted to me for kisses and I was able to tell them I was ok. From this point on was a slew of tests with lots of poking and prodding. Lab draws, IV starts, assessments, CT scans, and unfortunately a catheter to drain my bladder. Most fortunately, we found out via a quick ultrasound that the baby was okay and there were no obvious concerns regarding the pregnancy. We were told though that the first 48 hours following a blunt trauma type accident are the most risky and determining of the fetus's well being. We quickly found out I had 6 broken ribs, a lacerated spleen, and a small pneumothorax. And had experienced an obvious concussion. We had to make some quick decisions and were then quickly taken to radiology to have my spleen fixed by embolizing the bleed through my femoral vein. It is amazing they are able to do such a significant procedure through just a tiny whole in my leg. Luckily they kept me pretty comfortable through the procedure and it only lasted about an hour. The physician was amazed at the size of laceration they found. He said we were lucky to have stopped the bleeding when we did. The procedure was successful and I was then transferred to the Intensive Care Unit to be monitored closely for the next few days. Apparently, there isn't much you can do about any of the other conditions I was experiencing except watch them closely. The first few days I was getting frequent blood draws to check my blood count. They did do a follow up CT scan after a few days to make sure things were healing. It showed good results and things looking like they hoped they would. The day of the accident and next following days, were some of the hardest and longest days I have yet experienced. The pain was very intense and I had a horrible migraine that was debilitating me. I didn't even want to see the kids at this point. It was just too hard and hurt too much. And I didn't want them to see me like that. I tried to tell the nurses and doctors that the migraine was what was causing most of my pain. I have suffered from migraines my whole life, but this was different. It was so intense. The OB doctor finally prescribed something specifically for migraines/headaches during pregnancy. Within an hour the pain was relieved. Within about 5 hours, it was almost gone completely. I was so happy it worked and I felt human again. I could interact with people again and could open my eyes without excruciating pain. After this the rest of my recovery has mostly went uphill. I have had an occasional day where I struggle more than others and have had a few emotional days mixed in too. I spent 3 nights in the ICU, 1 night in the PCU, and then 1 night in on the surgical floor. It's so weird to be on the opposite side of the nursing world. I had some really great and inspiring nurses. They will forever change my role as a nurse. Two nurses, Chris and Heather, went above and beyond to make me and my family feel at ease during a difficult time.
This was at my worst.... I couldn't handle the lights on at all, had a warm pack on my head at almost all times and only interacted with people if I had to.
After being home for a few days, I feel significantly better. I am moving quite well, almost weened completely off my pain medications, my appetite is almost back to normal, and my mood is better. Most importantly I am able to be with my babies! I wish I could be doing all my normal mom activities but just being home with them has been so great. I know it's only a short time that I am unable to care for them like I normally do, but it's still hard. They have been busy having a blast with their cousins so they aren't really missing mom much anyways. I am glad they seem to be happy and doing well. I have been sleeping on the recliner in the living room because it's easier to get in and out of and sleep in a reclined position.
My mom and sister didn't leave my side during the nights, even though they had to sleep on an uncomfortable mattress laid on the floor. My sweet mom helped wash my hair. This is after I had a quick shower cap wash the night before that my sister helped with. I had so much dried blood in my hair it felt so good to have clean hair again!
I can't think of a time that fresh air has ever felt better! Or a hug from my little Lulu.
When I got home Berkley went crazy! It was YouTube worthy. He cried and cried, jumped and jumped. It was so sweet and heart wrenching all at once. His was literally yelping with excitement. Gary said he hasn't eaten much since I have been gone. It's normal for him to eat less while I am not home so over the course of a week, he had hardly eaten. Poor boy even lost a lb and a half according to Gary. Now that I am home he has hardly left my side and is back to his normal eating habits, thankfully!
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